Unseen Lover

Will i find her?
Lurking on the periphery of my life,
is she waiting?
An ending to a story untold.
So that i might one day grow bold.
To find her.

Riding the tide of anguish and pain,
Drying myself outside in the rain.
The shoreline seems so far away.
The shoreline where she waits, come what may.
Or does she?
Why wait for one so cold.
Why wait for a soul so old.

Aged and wheathered by circumstances beyond my control.
Could she ever love me?
To love such a weight of memory,
flawed and scarred in all ways.
I see only now through a dim haze.
Does she see me now?
Does she flinch at my sight?
Frightened by my illusion of right.
Unseen, she remains.
To be discovered elsewhere, at her choosing.

I have no power, contrary to what i believe.
I cannot seek, only hide.
My only goal to ride the tide.
I pray i meet her.
Pray to a God i dont think is there.
I only ask for my fair share.
God knows ive gone long enough without.

Complete me, i ask.
Help me, i beg.
But it is no easy task.
All i can say is break a leg.

Self critical becomes self harming.
Ive tried, only to fail.
Tried to pass on through the veil.
Life is such an intense and fragile beauty.
When passing, i felt as royalty.
A coronation of death, a crown of thorns.
But it wasnt my time.
The balance was not set.
We hadnt met.

So i wait.
And you wait.
And we wait.

While i sit.
And you sit.
And we sit.

You are hidden to me.
An unseen lover i cannot see.
Passing me by as i pass you by.
Living your life as i softly cry.
I dont think i can find you.
Blinded by despair.
I dont think anyone is to be found.
Nobody could care.
But please.
Will you find me.

Duality is neccesary for life.
But it must be absent for strife.
It must be unseen.